In our lives, it seems that we human beings are constantly waiting; when we are children, we want to grow up, when we are adults we are continually striving for fulfillment and success and as we age , we look forward to retirement and the rest we so richly deserve.
We all have our expectations and if those expectations aren’t met our present moment seems empty and every moment that passes, appears extremely long and the waiting becomes a heavy burden because our future remains uncertain and unclear.
However, if our expectations are met, then every moment that passes, appears full of joy and seems worthwhile.
What would happen if we stopped the waiting and started living now, in the present moment with all its richness and beauty, with all its wonder, with all its challenges and lessons? What if we met each moment without expectation? What would happen if we just let go and surrendered ourselves to the loving will of God?
Since having my experiences, I often remember that feeling of the complete surrender to the loving will of God. It was the most freeing, most magnificent feeling I’ve ever experienced. I knew that God held me in the palm of His hand and that I was safe. I knew that He would not let me fall and that He was loving me every single moment.
The first time I stared death in the eyes, was at the tender age of thirteen. I faced the inherent built-in survival that everyone faces. At first, I fought hard in order to live, but there came a time when my soul knew it was time to go and my struggle ceased. I let go and surrendered all that I was to God’s loving grace. Over the years it happened again and again. I had no warning. Death came to my life swiftly, four times. There was no waiting for it, there were no plans made for it. Death came like a thief in the night. One minute I was alive and well, the next minute, I was facing the great unknown.
There was no last meal or last minute goodbyes. What was, was.
I have learned that every instant of every day is precious. There is no more wishing my life away or waiting for this moment or that moment, thinking that those moments will be better or more blessed than the present moment. I realize that all I have is right now, this present moment and this moment is a beautiful gift.
Sharon Milliman (c) 2018

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