To all of my family and to my friends who love and support me , I am truly honored and blessed by the beautiful gift of YOU. Thank you for being in my life. I love you all and I am grateful beyond words for YOU. This writing is not directed towards any of you at all but is directed towards others ( they know who they are) and after days of prayer and contemplation, I feel I am being led to speak out about what is in my heart.
Once again, I find it very disheartening to be at the receiving end of some people’s negative,angry, self righteous words being wielded at me like a razor sharp sword. When I read some of the comments that are posted on some of the YouTube videos made from some of the interviews I have done, where I have shared about my experiences, I am completely astounded. I have no words to accurately describe the pain I feel by the accusations and presumptions coming from people who do not even know me. I am appalled by the venom I see coming from number one, adults and number two,people who claim to be followers of Christ and yet, they prove by their actions and words that they are anything but what they claim to be.
These kinds of comments are not just on my videos but I see similar comments on other’s videos as well.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can speak for myself. What I will say is that every word I have spoken is the truth. I am not a fraud, I am not a liar. I am not demon possessed. I am not a heretic. I am not a blasphemer. I am not a theologian, my books are not theological documents, they are books about what God did in MY life. They may be my experiences but it’s God’s story. It’s all for His Glory! I do not, and have never claimed to know the mind of God. I have never claimed to be an authority on God. The only authority on God, is God. All I know is what He chose to show me and tell me during my Near Death experiences and what I have been willing to learn from those experiences. I have a willingness and an openness to do God’s will by sharing my experiences in order to give hope to those in need. I do this out of love, not out of any kind of authority.
When giving an interview, or giving a talk on my experiences, I tell exactly what God did in MY life. God is God. He is capable of doing anything He chooses. If He can work miracles in my life, He is quite capable of doing the same in other’s lives as well. He comes to us all in very unique and individual ways because we are all very unique and individual people, with very unique and individual hearts. God is the reader of hearts and the healer of hearts. That is what He does best. The way He presents Himself and the way He speaks to me is going to be very different than the way He may present Himself or the way He speaks to someone else. But,both are very real and valid.
As for the comments about my tears, Yes! I do cry sometimes during certain interviews because there are times when I cannot contain the absolute love of God, the overwhelming sense of joy and the awe that I feel because of the profound miracles that I have experienced in my life. Tears are not a bad thing. Tears are words the soul cannot speak.
As for the comments made about my NDEs and the Bible, no , you probably will not find a way to back up all of the experiences I have had by looking for them in the Bible, but that does not mean that I was “speaking with demons “ or that as some have said , “ I need to be delivered.” Yes, God speaks to us through the words in the Bible, but that is not the only way He can speak to us. However,there are many places in the Bible that talk about people having angelic visitations, people having dreams , visions , seeing spirits etc. But, one needs to truly understand in what context the words were written and how can they be applied to our lives today. The Bible should never be used as a destructive weapon against another person.
If one chooses to put God in a box, then so be it, have at it. I however, through my experiences, have learned that God cannot, nor will He ever be contained inside a tiny little box. God is so big He can cover the whole world with His love and at the same time He can be so small that He can curl up inside your heart. If one lets Him, He will do just that.
I will also say that unless one has walked a mile in my shoes, unless one has seen the world and the Glory of God through my eyes, unless one has crawled into the deepest chambers of my heart, it is impossible for anyone to pass any kind of accurate judgment upon me.
There were remarks made about the tears that came when I spoke about my own mother. Yes, my mother passed away five years ago. I know she is in Heaven, she is not suffering anymore. When we love deeply, we also mourn deeply. I still love her and I miss her in my life. Even Jesus Himself mourned the death of His friend Lazarus, He wept and mourned over Jerusalem. Mourning is a human, very normal and natural thing to experience when someone you love passes. Even as a multiple NDER, I am still human. I know where my loved ones are and have had a beautiful glimpse of what they are experiencing and yet, I am here and they are there. I am allowed to feel. I am allowed to mourn for as long as I need to without judgment from others.
As NDERS we are not all knowing gurus, we are not exempt from the trials and suffering of this world. We still face hardships, loss,physical illness and we hurt when others are cruel. But, It’s what we do with it all that matters in the end. I said “ yes” to God , that is why I share what I do. I was also taught as a child, if you can’t say something kind, don’t say anything at all. Words have the power to make a soul or break one. So I ask these people, and they know who they are, before you speak or leave mean, hurtful, judgmental comments on me or anyone else, ask yourself “what would Jesus, or God, do?”