Please stop by and visit my new Author’s website at http://www.sharonmillimannde.com
Please stop by and visit my new Author’s website at http://www.sharonmillimannde.com
As a result of having had multiple NDES, do you ever feel that God has rejected you or that He has kicked you out of Heaven? The first one
was a pre birth /birth NDE . The second one was at age13 from a drowning, the third, was from a lightning strike in 2005 and the fourth and most recent NDE was this past November 2016 due to an emergency surgery. I feel like there is a very spiritual and important reason for these events to keep happening, but for the life of me, I have no answer.
During my first NDE, I saw the light and I saw God come forth from the light and He touched my mother. During the second NDE , I again, saw the light and I knew that the light was God. During the third and fourth NDES, I had gone to Heaven. I had gone to the same place both times and had recognized exactly where I was. I recognized the magnificent garden and field of wild flowers between the garden and the golden city. The love I felt was beyond words and it filled every pore in my body. Even though I had died, I still had a body, I still looked like me, I felt like me, I was still me only once again, I had a light body. My body was not heavy or weighted down and it was illuminated, like it had been before during my previous NDE when I had been struck by lightning.
It seems that with each NDE, I get closer and closer to the glorious city. During my last NDE, in November 2016, I stood right next to the city wall but was unable to go any further. I touched the wall. It was extremely high ,very solid and made of the purist gold. I was only feet away from the city gates as I stood there watching hundreds of people being led by angels into the city. It was their time and they were being welcomed home. I could hear undeniably the sound of a huge celebration or party taking place on the other side of the golden wall. It was very clear to me, by all the smiles, hugs, kisses and all the laughter, that the party was indeed a welcome home celebration.
I have been asked, “why is there a wall around the city? Is it for protection?” There is no need for protection in Heaven. The wall is the barrier or the point at which there is no return, going beyond the wall means it is your time and you won’t be coming back. ( unless you are being given a quick tour while accompanied by a guide or angel).
Obviously, it wasn’t my time and I was sent back, once again.
After the ” wow factor ” of having had yet another huge spiritual experience diminished , I found myself pondering the questions ” Is there something wrong with me? Why has God kicked me out of Heaven again?”
While pondering and praying over these questions, God brought to mind a visit I had with Jesus just a couple of years ago. During our visit Jesus addresses these questions.
I was mopping the kitchen floor during a particularly difficult day taking care of my mother who had Alzheimer’s when I had a visitor. At that particular moment, I was not really thinking of anything, just mopping away and trying to decompress when all of a sudden I heard a familiar male voice. It was a smooth, calming voice that made my heart sing and my soul soar. As I turned around I saw Jesus standing in the kitchen leaning against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest and his feet crossed at the ankles. As always, He was smiling at me. Standing still with the mop in my hand, I could feel His love so deeply. I didn’t have to say a word because Jesus already knew my heart. He knew what I was feeling. Jesus looked into my eyes as tears streamed down my face and He said:
“Oh my precious Dove, you cry because you think I cast you away when you were with me in heaven and that is so far from the truth, I hold you so dear. It simply wasn’t your time. I have a job for you to do.
My beautiful little one, you know that I love you. You know that I am with you. I always am. You are here because your life has meaning. You have to step aside and take the “you” out of the equation You are doing just fine in what you are doing. Because what you do, you do out of love. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just let me do the work. I will handle it. I am capable. You just be. Just be present and be at peace. You just love, the way you always do.
All that has happened to you in your life has happened to prepare you for this moment in order to make you strong enough for this very important job I have asked you to do for me. I am with you to give you my strength. I love you. Lean on me when you are weak and scared. Do not be afraid. Just love, that’s all. Just Love. It’s that simple. That is the purpose of your life, my beautiful Dove. When you feel torn and weary, give it to me; remember I am strongest when you are at your weakest. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you stranded. I am right here with you always. I will love you until beyond the end of time “
Through this experience, I learned that God hears every prayer and He answers them. I learned that I am loved and there is nothing wrong with me. I wasn’t kicked out of Heaven nor was I abandoned. My life does have meaning. I still have an important job to do here. That’s why I was sent back. Jesus promised He would be with me. Jesus always keeps His word.
Question for NDEers.. I have seen in numerous accounts of going through a life review, where the person recounts how it was the “little” things that mattered and showed love to others and were important, not what we’d consider big things here. So I guess my question is – can you give me an example of what those little things that are actually so important are?
On December 17,2017 at 8:45 am, I had my 4th Near Death Experience. I had been hospitalized for having had a seizure the day before and was on a 24 hour observation. On the morning of the 17th, I had had an adverse reaction to some seizure medication and had stopped breathing. Before anyone had been alerted of my situation, I had fallen asleep in my hospital bed when I felt my spirit rise up out of my body. I went up through the ceiling, past the roof, into the sky and up into the vast dark universe. I was wrapped or cocooned within what felt like a warm, soft, thick black velvet blanket. I could see myself within this cozy wrap as well as outside of myself and I felt so warm ,safe ,protected and deeply loved. There was a presence with me , in me , all around me yet, I couldn’t see with my visual eyes who this presence was. Even though I couldn’t see, I knew that God was with me . I felt no fear or worry as I was curled in a fetal position within this velvet encasement. It felt as if I was a baby again in my mother’s womb. As I hung there suspended, not moving up, down or sideways, I could see brilliant stars and planets all around me. There was a slight feeling of curiosity and amusement at the twinkling stars but I realized that I felt more comfortable inside the thick, velvety blanket that surrounded me. I had no sense of time, I was there for what seemed like eternity. As I hung there suspended among the stars, it felt as though I was waiting, but for what, I do not know. It was quiet, calm, peaceful and the black velvet was so soft and warm. I saw and felt two huge figures standing over me. One, I knew was God, the other one, I did not know but I heard them talking about me. They were talking about wether I was to stay or go back. Then suddenly, It felt like a vacuum was sucking me down, pulling me down, down, back into my body.
Then, I could hear a lot of noise and as I opened my eyes, the lights in the room were so bright that my eyes hurt. There were so many people in my room, calling my name and talking that I thought my ears would explode, the pain was horrendous. I was so confused. I had no idea what had just happened. The doctor stood by my bed, while several nurses milled around the room and then I saw my husband, who looked so terrified, standing over by the door. I had several IVs in my arms and a non breather oxygen mask on my face. The nurses stayed by my side for quite a while to monitor my breathing. It wasn’t until later that I was told how serious it had gotten. I had died from something called Acute Respiratory Acidosis or hypoventilation.
Every experience is different and this experience was certainly different from from any of the other experiences I’ve had before. Although I’m still trying to make sense out of all of it and to integrate it into my life, I have come to a few conclusions, I feel in my soul, that Where I do not fear death, I have had a fear of the void. God was showing me that the void was not a place to be feared. God was with me , He was that loving presence that was with me, in me , all around me. He was holding me, allowing my soul to rest in this quiet, peaceful, resting place. Even though it was dark, I was never alone and always felt enormous love and comfort. The void is, in my experience, was a quiet, peaceful, resting place for my soul and it is a place between Heaven and earth. At this particular time in my life, I knew I had a decision to make about whether to stay or go and God just held me for a while, allowing me the time to just rest so I would not have made a hasty decision.
Joy Comes In The Little Things
Since my near death experience I have learned that Joy comes in the little things. I have also learned that it is important to share joy and happiness with others. These gifts are not meant to be held onto selfishly. Before you can share them with others, you must find them within yourself first. In other words, you cannot share something that you do not feel. For me, joy comes in the little things. Joy comes in the quiet moments, such as soaking in the first rays of the dawn, hearing the sweet song of a bird or listening to the gurgling of a stream as it flows over the rocks. These are the things that I notice when I spend a few moments alone with God. Such moments bring peace and harmony to my soul.
When I experience joy, happiness follows and it radiates out of me, like the rays of the sun that shines on others. Spreading joy only requires truly caring about someone else. It is found in a smile, a kind word, a good deed, by showing love and compassion. That is all it takes. Where there is love, one will find joy.
I was sitting outside drinking my coffee and enjoying the early morning sun when I noticed all the beauty around me. I noticed the soft breeze against my skin, the happy singing of the birds and the sweet fragrance of the flowers. It was a time of peace and quiet, a time to sit in the presence of God before I had to start my busy day. Later that morning I had left to run some errands. One of the places on my list was the doctor’s office. While there waiting for some paperwork, I noticed a man standing in line waiting to sign in for his appointment. He had this look that I immediately recognized, although I wasn’t sure why I immediately perceived overwhelming pain in his eyes and brokenness of his spirit. I felt this push to talk to him and heard a voice whisper, “tell him.” So, I asked the man if he was a Vietnam Veteran. He said he was. I then asked him if he had a moment to speak about something important. He nodded and we stepped aside. I began to tell him that most of the military, fire and rescue servicemen today receive a hero’s welcome, especially after the world trade center attack of 9/11. I wanted him to understand he was every bit as much of a Hero to me. I thanked him for fighting and for making so many sacrifices in the service to his country. I told him that I understood his pain, including his confusion why certain things went so badly. I understood that he was just following orders by his commanding officer, he was responding as any scared young man might, confused as to why he was sent to war. I ended by reiterating “You are my hero, thank you so much for what you did for all of us.” At this point tears were streaming down both our faces. He hugged me and said, “Thank you.” He got back in line and I sat down.
When I was ready to leave a little while later, the man was also leaving his appointment. He walked up to me and said, “I wanted to thank you for all that you said to me. I had planned to end my life today, but you changed that for me. I am not going to do that now. I am going to stay now. So, thank you.” He had such a new sparkle in his eyes and a smile on his face that gave me such incredible joy. We hugged each other again. As I was heading toward my car, I heard him whistling a song. Thank God! Whenever I think of him, and I do from time to time, I offer up a prayer of thanksgiving for him and all who have served in conflicts, wars or disasters. They are my heroes, all of them. Whether they were recognized or not, I am recognizing them now and saying “thank you.” Joy does come in the little things and it comes in acts of love towards others. That stranger gave me the most beautiful gift. He gave me joy. For his joy became my joy.
A Song In The Wind, A Near Death Experience
Our Wounded Bodies and Hearts
Sometimes our wounds and brokenness are hidden, there is no outward appearance. The struggles and tragedies, pain and suffering are faced in silence.
I have had a TBI , traumatic brain injury, since 97 when I fell backwards off a ramp, my head bouncing off the concrete like a rubber ball. I began having grand mall seizures , memory loss, cognitive impairment and for an 8 month span of time the loss of movement in my legs. It has caused permanent severe post traumatic migraine syndrome. There are times when speaking, I loose my words, making it seem as though I am not as intelligent as one might expect. It took 8 years to recover from this accident. In 2005, I was struck by lightning leading to my second NDE. The doctors have said the TBI will be permanent but I have learned many helpful coping mechanisms over the years.
Not only have there been physical wounds but there have been wounds of the heart. There has been divorce, broken relationships, death, and various other kinds of woundedness. I have learned over the years that we are all wounded in one way or another. I have learned not to become a victim of my own wounds. I have learned that I have the strength within me to rise above the circumstances that life presents as tests. I have learned that I can move through my challenges and tragedies by reaching out and helping others move through the painful episodes of their lives. Doing this keeps me from getting stuck within myself. By remaining stuck in the power of my own pain and woundedness, I hinder my own growth. And I overlook the greater gifts inherent in my wounds -the strength to persevere, to overcome them and the lessons I was meant to receive through them. I have learned that my pain and suffering is a means to enter into the hearts of others. My wounds teach me how to be compassionate and wise and to treat others the way I want to be treated, with dignity and respect. And above all things, to love, the way God loves. For, His love heals all wounds.
Sharon Milliman (c) 2017
What does Joy look like?
Then you will look and be radiant; your heart will swell with joy, because the abundance of the seas will be diverted to you, and the riches of the nations will come to you. Isaiah 60:5 NIV
After my Near death experience I lived in a state of oneness with God and my life was filled with joy. I found joy in the littlest things. I loved watching the early morning sunrise , hearing the birds sing their songs of praise, walking in fields of wild flowers , sitting in the quiet and being with God.
As I progressed in my spiritual journey, God revealed that the purpose being sent back from Heaven was to love and serve others. He didn’t give me a step by step guide as to how I was to accomplish this ,so I followed the words of Jesus ” love one another as I have loved you”
I took to heart what God had said to me and I set out to do what He had asked. I quickly learned that my favorite thing to do was an act of kindness towards at least one person every day. That was where I found my greatest joy. Someone’s else’s joy became my joy. I found that real joy was in what I gave, not in what I received.
God is love. Everything that emanates from God is love. I have found that spreading His love is a very easy to do. Just a simple smile can make all the difference in someone’s life. I have found that a smile can travel all the way around the world and back again all in one day, changing lives, lifting hearts and bringing joy as it goes. The best part is it can start right now.
What does Joy look like to you?
Sharon Milliman (c) 2017
“Listen, quiet your heart and be at peace for I am always with you. If you don’t hear me talking, it’s because you are not listening. You have the courage and the strength to do all that your heart desires and all that My Father has called you to do. It has been shouted from the highest mountains and heard in the lowest valleys. Its whisper has been heard throughout all human experience. So you must trust that it is true.
Trust and believe, with all of your being that LOVE is the answer. It is Agape Love, meaning pure unconditional love that is the answer. Believe in and expect miracles, for they will happen. When you quiet your mind and spirit, answers will come.
My Father knows you. He knows that when you go into nature you will find rest. Nature is where you will become one with all that is, all that was, and all that will ever be. Know that in this place you will find your greatest peace and joy. You will never walk alone. Not ever, all those who went before you, are all around you loving you and supporting you in your walk on this earthly plane.
Open your heart and don’t be afraid. Just cast all your fears aside and accept your new life. Just be at peace. Remember this; I am in you and all around you. Turn wood and you will find me. Lift a stone, I am there. Like the sun warms your skin, I will touch you, and as the rain washes you, I will also. Without you I am nothing. With you, I am eternity.”
A Song In The Wind,
A Near Death Experience
Since my near death experiences, I have been asked the question ” What is Free Will? ” this is what was revealed,
With every soul that comes into being, God breathes His breath of life and bestows an eternal gift. This gift is freely given out of His great love. Every soul is given this precious gift and there are no strings attached.
Free will is a gift that gives us the power to make decisions of our own rather than having God or fate predetermine what we do. But with this gift comes great responsibility, for with each decision or choice that we make in our lives there will also be consequences.
God in His infinite love created us in His image and we resemble our Creator in our capacity to display such qualities as love, acceptance tolerance, compassion, graciousness, and justice but it is our choice to do so. God is a gentleman, He gave us this gift upon our birth and He honors us by stepping back and allowing us to freely make our choices. Even though He steps back, allowing us to make our own decisions, His love for us is constant and He is ever present watching over us as a loving father watches over his child. We can align ourselves with God’s love or to feel separate from it. This is our choice. With each decision we make, we either walk with truth and with love, or we shy away from it. With each loving choice to honor our heart, and to believe in His love and support, we walk the path of miracles. With each choice to believe and to act in love, we are living our life’s purpose. Conversely, with each unloving thought, by misusing our gift; by imposing our will selfishly upon others thereby causing harm, we walk the path of struggle. The choice is ours and the results of such choices are the consequences we reap. Yes, free will can result in evil however, it can also result in the deepest love and joy possible.
We are truly blessed with the fact that God does not keep score and does not make judgments. In the end, we are the ones who do the judging.
This is the precious gift of free will that we have all been given upon our birth. The most beautiful part of this gift is that it lets us love Him with all of our hearts, simply because we want to.
Sharon Milliman (c) 2017
When I was sitting in Heaven with God, I felt a love I had never felt before. It felt as if I was the only one He had ever created. And then I realized that no matter how huge the universe may be and how tiny I am in the grand scheme of things, I am a very important part of everything God created. Meaning, I have eternal worth because I am connected and interwoven with everything like the golden threads of a tapestry. What God taught me was every single thing He created is an extension of His love. God didn’t create us to serve Him. On the contrary, He serves us so that we can learn to serve others in love with Him.
A Song In The Wind
A Near Death Experience